"You make me too happy. Go away."
"You're not weird enough."
"You have no more t-shirts I want to borrow."
"Ummm... I just realised something about my sexuality"
"Monogamy, what's that?"
"Will you marry me?"
"What? We're a couple?"
"Hmmm.. I thought you'd be dead by now."
"I much prefer coffee"
"I've been feeling a bit strange lately."
"You just look better than me in my skirts."
"I was hoping we could just go back to being enemies..."
"I'm really sorry, hon. But either we break up, or one of us dies."
"It's just not going to work. You're human, and I'm not."
"My parents don't hate you as much as I hoped they would."
"You're just too nice. More like a friend than a lover."
"You're not evil enough for me to have a serious relationship with."
"You have my permission to see other people if you want."
"I can't date anyone who has never heard of George Carlin."
"I can't go out with you because I actually like you."
"I know that breaking up will mean the death of us both"
"Would it upset you terribly if we were just . . . friends with benefits?"
"No, we're not going to break up."
"You bore me."
"You wore pink last Tuesday. Get out of my sight."
"You're actually starting to cheer me up."
"You don't like sex on gravestones?"
"You gave me live flowers, how tacky."
"You want to do what? Bowling?!"
"I think your an embarrassment to me and the rest of humankind, fucking hippie!"
"By the way, we broke up. About two months ago. I forgot to tell you."
"I love you but I want to date 3 other people to be sure if this is right for me."
"You don't have any more clothes that I want to borrow."
"I think we need to have a talk about you and I... You are aware that there is no You and I.
"No, you aren't really a vampire."